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“The Undetectable Performance Enhancer”
| Sachse International Gazette Wilber “Jet Wash” Smith Senior Water Recreation Correspondent Controversy Swirls Around Swanson’s Hippity Hop Race Victory Date Line: Baytown Texas On the afternoon of April 16, 2005, a series of events began to unfold that would plunge the First Annual IJSBA Region 5 Hippitty Hop Race into a hotly debated cheating controversy. “There are so many rumors and wild conspiracy theories about his (Dales) win, I’m not sure what to believe” stated an anonymous race fan. “You would think people would be talking up the fact that Region 5 had the first ever NIGHT TIME closed course race last Saturday but all they are talking about is some supposedly undetectable performance enhancer.” Not everyone took the Hoppy controversy so seriously. Chris "Mr. Blender" Codina, Region 5 race director extraordinaire, just shrugged when asked about the rare earth gasses that allegedly powered Dale’s Hoppy. "It’s really no big deal," he said “It wasn’t supposed to be a regulation hippity hop race. It was just a fun event to bring fans and racers together.” “If you took a real close look at most of the hops racing Saturday you would probably find a number that were stretching the spirit of the rules. Some competitors were running astronomical air pressures, so far above the limits set by the International Hoppy Racing Federation (IHRF), it was just pure luck that we didn’t have an incident that sent a burst hoppy flying through the spectators.” According to unnamed sources crew chief and mechanics spent untold hours dreaming up and then creating devices to give them the performance edge. In addition to the alleged utilization of lighter than air rare Earth gases and elevated inflation pressures, some competitors even attempted to minimize aerodynamic drag through the use of sun tan lotion. Despite all the controversy there were no lasting hard feelings about Dale’s win. “Dale has been working out over the winter. He had good leg strength and hop form. We just didn’t think of it (Rare Earth Gas) BUT just wait till we have the round 2 Hoppy Race in Stillwater Oklahoma when we bounce out our Carbon Fiber Reinforced Super Stock Hop.” |
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