I have been riding stand ups for 8 years and currently own a wickedly fast superstock SXR 800. As a die-hard stand up rider, I have quite naturally spent every waking moment of my life bashing sit down riders.

My problem is that I met this Sea-Doo girl at the lake several months ago. She admitted that she had never even seen a stand up ski! Naturally, my first reaction was to tell her… stand to ski, sit to… and blow her off, but there was just something about her so I overlooked this obvious flaw in her character. The strange thing was that we just clicked ever since that first meeting at the boat ramp. I found myself thinking she’s everything I ever wanted, she was perfect for me. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would ever date a sit down owner.

Last Saturday, we were making plans to go to the lake when I just blurted out I LOVE YOU. Realizing that I had made a premature admission of love, I quickly tried to change the subject hoping she wasn’t listing. But she caught every word. I think we were both stunned at what I had just said. Then that sit down riding Doo girl proceeds to kiss the very thought of single life right out of me!

I feel like I’m in the twilight zone. After all these years I find the woman of my dreams and she rides a Doo. I think I want to ask her to marry me. Have I lost my mind? Is a mixed brand stand-up / sit-down marriage even possible?

I don’t have a ton of money to spend on a wedding after buying racing parts for the SXR and I know her parents are currently paying off two RXP’s so they probably won’t be able to help much with the wedding expenses. Any help with my predicament will be greatly appreciated!

Signed – Desperate in Haltom City

Dear Desperate

It’s perfectly natural for a stand-up rider to have feelings for the opposite watercraft persuasion. In fact, I know of numerous long-term, successful, and happy stand-up/sit-down marriages. Heck, I even heard of a Superjet racer that married a Tigershark Montego girl a few years back.

As far as the actual wedding is concerned, only a space shuttle launch involves less complex technical, deal making, and logistics as saying I DO.

Oh sure people will tell you it’s a simple matter of boy meets girl at the lake, they fall in love, get married, and set about the fun task of creating future watercraft riders, but trust me; planning a wedding is more involved than installing triple pipes on a GPR!

If you’re up to the challenge here are a few things to consider:

The Ring choices include platinum, yellow gold, white gold, and a combination of platinum and gold. Most jewelry stores skip right past the perfectly fine metal choices of stainless steel and as any red blooded male knows there is no metal on planet earth that says I love you like titanium! Unfortunately, the marriage industry has brain washed females (sit-down and stand-up riders alike) into believing that precious metals are the only sign of “true love.” So, expect to pay anywhere from the cost of an engine overhaul to a pair of brand spanking new Sea-Doo LRV’s on the ring.

Diamond Sizes include the “I have to get married diamond,” “it’s an OK diamond,” “The whole lot-o diamond,” and the “OH MY____” that comes equipped with a custom platinum wrist brace and a designer carrying bag for those times when arm movement is required.

Bridal Gown assuming your Doo woman does not want to wear her slippery wetsuit on the big day; a wedding gown of her choosing is required. I know what you’re thinking. You could buy a stainless steel handle pole for the cost of a dress that will only be worn once and will take up space in your closet for years to come, but it’s a tradition and traditions cost money! I notice that some bridal shops also offer bridal gloves so you might want to figure that into your budget. Estimated cost anywhere from a SXR Factory Dry pipe to a complete Ronny Pot carbon fiber hull.

Bridal Showers I’m not exactly sure what goes on at a bridal shower but it seems they recommend the bride wash up before the big event and offer some kind of special rinse or something. This category is very confusing since they don’t seem to offer groom shower facilities. So, be sure and clean up at home before heading to the church. Estimated cost??

The Church Be sure to ask what brand of Clergy / Minister / Pastor / Texas Park Ranger you will need - Catholic, Baptist, tribal medicine man, rain forest healer, etc. Although some parents are so happy at the prospect that a female would actually marry their little boy that they would even settle for a witch doctor. For additional cost savings, ask Doo girl if you can have the wedding at the closed course or endurance races! Just think of the benefits – plenty of secure parking, all your friends will already be there, racers always have extra food to share, heck you can be the noon time attraction with Kenny or Marty as your best man! Estimated cost 4 sets of Pro-X pistons give or take a set of rings

Men’ Formal Wear Since Doo girl will likely choose the expensive wedding gown over the wetsuit, just shell out the 59.99 Tux rental fee so you’ll look nice too. I did notice that they don’t offer the groom the option of wearing gloves. Sure seems to me to be a fashion faux pau if only the bride is wearing gloves. So if she decides to glove up, be sure to take a pair of your racing gloves with you to the church. Estimated cost 1 Slippery life vest.

Rehearsal Dinner this dinner is also known as the “are you going to chicken out on my daughter and embarrass the entire family feast.” Expect to meet many relatives of unknown family lineage with voracious appetites. Cost control should be your prime objective since you will probably never see these people again. Estimated cost depends on whether the relatives are chicken strip or steak and lobster types.

Honey Moon I was searching the internet and found a beautiful lake side resort in of all heavenly places Lake Havasu! Seems the only downside is that you do have to attend three 2 hour timeshare vacation presentations but otherwise the honey moon would be Free!

Best wishes,

Jet Wash

P.S. Don’t forget you will be a 2 watercraft family! So be sure to put a new PWC trailer on your gift registry!

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